God
by athlynn17
Summary: Doumeki learns where Watanuki is after disappearing. In the mean time, Watanuki finds out why he should start to decide on a choice.
1. Chapter 1

#045

The sakura petals that lingered softly in this world always seemed so pretty. A gust of soft breeze that blew sent a cluster of them dancing into the air. Soft and light...such a pretty pink against the pitch black he was now in. Pale white hands extended into the dark, reaching into the air but grasping none. But somehow he smiled.

Instead of the fear and confusion that enveloped him at the beginning, a new and strange sense of peace and acceptance begin to grow in him. Glancing around the dark but peaceful empty space, he sat down and continued watching as another gust of invisible wind ushered the beautiful sakura petals to continue dancing.

It felt like a long time he had been here. But he did not question the time, nor did he question the place. It felt peaceful but he didn't know why. Everytime he felt a strange urge to stop staring at the beautiful dancing sakura petals, something always pulled him back into the trance. Looking at the pretty pink made the world seemed so simple, so pure, like there was nothing in the world he had to worry about.

It felt like he could be here forever and ever and he'd never have minded. Until it seemed like something glowing fell from the heavens and landed softly by his feet.

It looked like an arrow.

--

The false silence that played on his mind was broken abruptly by a gentle pat on his shoulder. For less than an instance he had expected a familiar loud voice ringing off in the air, but suavely pulled himself together again when he found a pair of concerned teal-coloured eyes boring into his amber ones. Was the class over yet?, he found himself asking numbly. The girl shook her head and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Doumeki-kun? Are you alright?" her soft voice rang in his ears but little of it seemed to have really reached his mind. He shrugged mildly and tried to give her a nod, but felt an unfeeling ache spread just by the side of his neck. A soft ringing of the school bell filled the air as vague images of their classmates slowly filling out from the classroom played before his fuzzy eyes. Suddenly he felt a small bubble of anger surging up inside of him. Have they, these absent-minded bastards, not realise who was not here for so many and seemingly countless days? He hung his head low, avoiding the curious stares from those that he had found to despise so much and so suddenly.

"Doumeki, we need to go."

He looked up in mild surprise at the sound of his first name without an honourific. He hadn't been called that way for what seemed to be a long time. Not since the owner of the loudest voice he has ever heard went missing after a few episodes of falling asleep at the weirdest times. Doumeki narrowed his eyes. The soft and gentle feeling that those eyes were radiating a second ago were replaced strangely with a new air of maturity and certainty. Doumeki stiffened his shoulders.

"What do you mean?" his voice barely above a whisper but yet somehow menacing, as it was every time he was feeling defensive. He stood up abruptly, staring straight into her eyes.

"We need to get to Yuuko-san's shop. It's the only place we can find Watanuki-kun."

His fingers curled into a fist unconciously as he fought hard to keep his voice steady. "Do you not think that it'd be the first place I'd search if that idiot's gone missing? He 's been falling asleep for ages, who knows where he's gone to sleep right now!" Kunogi looked slightly taken aback. Doumeki shrugged.

"It's not there. I can't see it, I can't." he added and turned away frustratedly.

She seemed to have paused a little while to take in those words. Doumeki was almost certain that she'd leave him alone for good this time to wonder where the other boy was. But he heaved a sigh when she started to speak. Her slender and gentle hand found its way to his shoulder again.

"Doumeki-kun... I think you should try again. There must be a reason why all of this is happening. Yuuko-san will know what to do. She always does, just like how Watanuki-kun always tells me." Doumeki stared at her in disbelief.

"And besides, I think Watanuki-kun would also like to know that there's still someone who would look for him when he's gone missing. Don't you think so?" A little yellow bird perched on her shoulder gave a chirp as if in agreement. Then she gave a smile that finally gave him an idea of why Watanuki was so obsessed with her before this.

Doumeki realised that he just had to give that witch's shop another try.

--

Watanuki's mind jerk awake from the trance suddenly as he fixed his eyes on the arrow that had appeared a moment ago from above. The arrow was long and looked strong and somehow familliar as well. As it lay innocently on the dark ground, it glowered faintly in gold, an even greater contrast to the obscurity that filled the atmosphere, among the fallen pink petals.

Watanuki crouched down on the ground and studied it at a closer range. It radiated a familiar vibe that felt comfortable and pure, something even stronger than how he had felt before. Where had this come from? Why can't he remember?

"Good evening, Watanuki-kun."

Watanuki withdrew his hand that almost touched the golden object as he turned around to see who it was who had come to visit him in this little dark haven of his. To his surprise, it was a man who wore a traditional yukata. The man who was also smoking sat at the edge the familiar traditional house that has always been there with him in this world, along with the big cherry blossom tree. Watanuki knew who he was.

"Haruka-san..." Watanuki greeted him slowly and walked towards where smoke fogged where the older man was lounging, with his eyes staring pensively towards the sky, a smile fixed on his face.

"Have a seat, Watanuki-kun. You must be so lonely here."

--

By now it was raining slightly and Doumeki was half-reluctant.

It was not like he hadn't tried this before. He made it a point to drop by every day at the street that was almost 3 blocks away from where he could have just ended his walk home from school. But when he passed along the street, there was nothing there between the two tall buildings which stood obliviously next to a suspicious (to him) empty lot. For a few days he'd been trying it, but every day he would just turn back and walk home feeling disappointed and frustrated.

There was almost no way for him to contact the other boy. Watanuki's own apartment had no phone, and when Doumeki somehow called the landlady of the apartment, she had no idea where he was as well. She also noted with concern to Doumeki that he hasn't been home for a few days now and that he should contact her immediately if Doumeki was to find out where he was. Doumeki said thank you and hung up, trying not to sound too hasty.

As he walked beside Kunogi, he noted the sound of his dragging footsteps in the midst of rain. He absent-mindedly thought about how Watanuki would disapprove of it with a great deal of verbal insults if he were here. Doumeki's lips nearly curved into a smirk but stopped midway. Watanuki really wasn't here.

As they approached the corner of the street that would soon turn into the street where Yuuko's shop should have been, Doumeki found it harder to drag his legs that felt heavier than before. He dreaded to see the empty lot on that street but yet he wished even more that he'd finally get to find out where Watanuki was right now. Kunogi seemed to be picking up her pace under her own umbrella in spite of the rain and finally made to turn into the dreaded street.

Doumeki stood in front of the lot between the two tall buildings with Kunogi by his side, both of them staring at the mysterious-looking traditional japanese house with a carved yellow wooden crescent at the summit of the roof. This was it. After so many days of desperate attempts, the shop finally showed itself on a rainy day like this.

"Let's go," he said under his breath, his pulse quickening as he took a step forward to enter the property surrounded by wooden fence.

When he realised that Kunogi did not follow suit, he turned his head and furrowed his eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

"You better go, Doumeki-kun. Go help Watanuki-kun. I can't see it. I can't go in."

--

"Haruka-san...I..." Watanuki held up a hand to shield his eyes away from smoke as he made his way unsteadily to where the smoking man seemed to be enjoying himself very much, just staring at the dark sky and sakura petals that seemed to fall from it.

"Watanuki-kun... How are you?" the older man turned his face away from the starless sky finally and faced Watanuki, smile unwavered.

"I'm fine, I guess..." Watanuki paused as he sat down next to the long-gone man. The smoke that lingered in the air did not hurt his eyes even if he hadn't got his glasses on, quite unlike how it stinged them when he was not here in this world.

The older man peered at the younger boy with an air of concern, breathing out a puff of smoke as he opened his mouth to speak again. "You seem to be dwelling in this world more than often now. I suppose you've figured out what's happening to you?"

"I'm...not sure. Yuuko-san can't tell me and I don't want to trouble her further. And many people have visited me in these dreams, and they tell me not to disappear. Syaoran-kun..."

"Yes, that child has indeed quite a reason for telling you that. But in the mean time, what do you wish for the most, Watanuki-kun? Do you want to leave this place? Are you happy here?" Haruka-san's voice suddenly changed into a tone filled with grimness that made Watanuki feel a pang in his heart. The sakura petals kept dancing but at times, Watanuki couldn't see where they were as they lingered in between the silver smoke. It felt like forever before he finally replied, eyes avoiding the other man.

"I...I'm happy here. It's comfortable here, and I don't have to worry about anything. It's a beautiful place...I want to stay here..." he voiced out finally, his voice soft. He smiled and faced Haruka-san and added. "Besides, in this place I can always meet Haruka-san and I don't have to deal with that Doumeki anymore. It's such a relief...!" he smiled and gave a small laugh. Haruka sensed the pain in the younger boy's chuckle.

"And by doing that,it's exactly how you are making yourself disappear ,Watanuki-kun. You will disappear, not only from that world. You will also disappear everywhere**, **even from this world."

--


	2. Chapter 2

#045

"I see you're finally here, Doumeki-kun." a dreamlike voice filled the air as Doumeki slid the semi-translucent door open hurriedly.

"Where's Watanuki?" his voice, laced with worry, rang louder than his usual tones. His amber eyes narrowed as he peered at the figure lounging on the couch, slightly surprised that she had

no smoking pipe in her hand. However, small white bottles of sake littered the floor near the couch. The woman had obviously been drinking again.

"What's the hurry Doumeki-kun? Why don't you have a drink with me first? Then I'll tell you where he is.." she smiled playfully but Doumeki noted the strange air of it. "I want to see Watanuki. Where is he?" his voice sounding even more menacing now, fingers curling into a strong fist. "For so many days I've been trying to come in here to find him! What on earth is happening to that idiot now?!" he said loudly, releasing all the anger that had been building up in him these few days. He was positively sure that she'd know where the other boy was now that he could enter the shop.

"You couldn't see the shop before this because there was no need for you to enter. Now that you have a wish, you are able to come here. He's resting, Doumeki-kun. And I don't think that he'd appreciate your shouting around here. Even if he does, I obviously don't." she said nonchalantly with an icy tone. Doumeki clenched his fist tighter. But before he opened his mouth to speak, he saw something wet glinting in her ruby eyes.

"He asked me...if he could help to grant my wish...my wish. Can you believe that? Who would've cared about the wish-granter's wish? Only him, Watanuki. Only him..." a tear rolled down her cheek. It was the first time ever that he'd ever saw the witch cry and he'd never expected that it'd be in front of him. Doumeki heaved a sigh as he struggled on with his own emotions.

"I'm sorry, Doumeki-kun. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sure the world would laugh if they had known that I cried in front of you. The only one who could make me cry before this was long gone. But now, we can't afford to lose Watanuki. He's too important for the two futures..." Yuuko shrugged while wiping her tears away with her sleeve. Doumeki knew now, why the sky rained.

"What do you mean? What's happening to him?" Doumeki urged on. Yuuko snatched a bottle of sake from the floor and took a swig from it. And then she casually swung her long slender legs to the floor and stood up. "Come, I'll show you..."

Doumeki followed through as she led him away from the room, deeper into the house where he'd never been to and never thought existed. Finally they reached a plain shouji door with a huge ward hanging right above it. He heard Yuuko heave a heavy sigh as she slid it open for the both of them.

It was the same bed Watanuki had slept on when he was recovering from the fall from the window of the third floor at school. The see-through curtains with large butterfly patterns hung around the huge bed as before. The air was filled with the smell of incense that smelled peaceful and radiated a comforting feeling. Doumeki tried not to remember how terrifying the feeling was when he was nauseated with worry. The sleeping figure behind the curtains was unmistakably who he had been searching for feverishly for days. As he approached the bed, the feeling he dreaded came doubling back. With a look at Yuuko who nodded grimly back, Doumeki lifted the curtains away.

But the bandaged and injured look Watanuki had on the last time was gone. Instead he was wearing his usual light blue pajamas and his eyes were closed. Doumeki moved closer as he noticed the other boy's chest rising up and down steadily in a rhythm. Clearly he was still alive and Doumeki gave a breath of relief at that sight. But still it did not resolve anything else.

"Oi, Watanuki. Wake up." He lowered himself so that he was eye-leveled with the sleeping boy. No response came but the breathing sounded steady. Doumeki reached out his hand to try shaking his shoulders but felt a gently hand on his own shoulders instead.

"Now you can't wake him up. Not just yet."

--

Watanuki looked away forcefully, each hand gripping the sleeves of his own yukata tightly.

"To continue to exist, your heart has to make a choice. If the choice that you pick is what your heart truly wishes for, and if you wish it hard enough,it might come true." Haruka continued, his face now filled with even more grimness as the pipe in his hand kept smoking at the mouth by itself.

Watanuki hung his head low as he felt tears welling up in his own eyes. "How can I...choose? Why can't I just stay here?" Haruka-san breathed in from his smoking pipe and let out another puff of smoke from his nose.

"I understand, Watanuki-kun. If you were to choose the world where you just came here from, you will continue to wander in it as if you don't belong there. And you wouldn't even remember about your own background, where you came from, your parents' names and so on. And that curiousity of yours eats your insides. Am I right? And in this world you're always followed by magical things. You have to remember that your first wish was to stop them from following you, perhaps now is your chance to make it come true. But if you choose to fade from that world, the people you used to know will never know of your existence anymore."

Watanuki stared into the dark without saying anything, tears falling silently down his face. He remembered all the faces who wouldn't want him to fade away.

"But if you were to choose the other world, you will find yourself in the world where you'd know yourself again. The world where you'd know in which year you're studying in, your parents' faces, and everything else. Plus, you will no longer attract magical things in this world. But you cannot however, take what you have encountered in the former world to this world. And you'd also have to start from scratch. Just like before. And you'd just be you, Watanuki-kun."

"Why is this happening to me, Haruka-san? Why do I have to make these choices?" he sobbed hard this time. He knew that the older man had just voiced out all the things that he'd been trying to push away all these while.

"Who knows which is the dream? Which is the reality? Maybe dreams can be dreamt into more dreams and the dream becomes reality. Dreams and wishes are almost alike, both intertwined together. But if the wish outweighs the dream, the dream might change."

A gust of wind lifted yet another pile of sakura petals into the air and into the direction where he stood before. Watanuki suddenly noticed the golden arrow lying upon the ground again.

--

"Why is this happening to him? Why can't he wake up?" Doumeki stood up, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the sleeping figure.

The long-haired witch stood beautifully behind him with a sad face. "Watanuki is going through something that neither one of us would truly understand. But while his body is here, you can rest assure that he is safe for now." She peered sadly at Doumeki who stared with confusion at the sleeping boy's face.

"Then where is he exactly?" he turned and faced her finally.

"In the dream world. Watanuki has some choices he has to make until the time comes." Yuuko replied calmly.

"What do I need to pay to get him back? I'll pay any price." the archer said without any hint of hesitation in his quiet voice again.

"The price itself is higher than anything I can ask from you any further. There's nothing you can really do for him. Except to wait for him and to wish for him to make the right choice. I cannot be certain for how long he'd be in living in his own dreams but I am quite sure that if he doesn't make a choice until the time comes, he'd disappear for real. From all of the worlds." Doumeki heard the emphasis in her voice.

Doumeki gritted his teeth and stooped down by the bedside again in silence. "You better make the right choice, Watanuki. There's too many things I haven't told you that you need to know. You better damn make the right choice." He muttered quietly to the other boy. Some dust must have gotten into his eyes.

"This shop was here in the first place to help Watanuki practice so that he might be able to make the right choices that will lead to a better future for all of us. I believe that after all that I've put him through, he's changed for the better..." Yuuko peered around the room gravely.

"Doumeki-kun...Dreams and wishes are intertwined together. However, if the wish outweighs the dream, the dream will change. If Watanuki's wish and our wishes are the same, perhaps the dream will change. But if he doesn't come back, we'd have to let him go. And you must not hesitate when the time comes, no matter which dream he chooses. You have to do what you have to do. Do you understand me, Doumeki-kun?" Doumeki nodded slowly and solemnly, turning back to the Watanuki's sleeping figure.

'But if he doesn't come back, we will have to let him go.' Those words rang in his ears again. How could he let him go?

"Is there really nothing you can do for him, Yuuko-san?" Doumeki closed his eyes, surrending his senses to the darkness that seemed to surround him.

"No, I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do for now."

Doumeki tilted his head forward with a silent chuckle in his throat. Now not even God can help.

"Can I wish for something then, Yuuko-san?" he asked**,** just before she turned to leave.

--

Watanuki stood up and walked against the wind which kept the petals dancing softly around him. Until he reached the place he saw the glinting object, he stopped and kneeled down.

Another tear rolled down his cold cheek as he finally reached out his quavering hand to touch the golden arrow. A sense of familiarity and security filled his mind until he was overwhelmed by it.

"That's my grandson's arrow. He wanted to remind you about the choices you have to make," Haruka-san chuckled softly, leaning backwards and faced the dark sky again.

The calm wind blew and the sakura petals willingly followed, dancing in its directions. Watanuki held the warm glowering arrow against his chest.

He smiled as he realised he had already made a choice.

--


End file.
